You said you know exactly who I am.

You know those places you call home, and it feels as if it's the only place that exists in your world? Well this picture of me in this place was my home away from home. It was like a second home to me. It was the only world where I cared about every little detail there and it was the only world in which held the people I care most deeply for. If I weren't here at this place then I was reminiscing the memory of it. This was a time to get to know who I am. This picture was the last year before my world as I had know it to be had its last run as our world. Only months after this picture, this place, our people, lost a very dear person. My dad's best friend Paul Pemberton. He and many others were the ones who made this place feel like home to me. Life was like a celebration for Paul. Every weekend he surrounded himself with his friends and family. Paul was the kind of guy who etched himself into your memory and tugged on your heart. Even in death he continues to do so when memories that you'd thought you'd forgotten had flashed over your eyes. Memories so meaningful that when you recall them, its almost like your reliving through it, so vivid. He is lost but not forgotten. Carpe Diem "Seize the Day".

He wasn't the first of our "next to kin" to go.  We lost 3 "uncles" in 3 years. First loss was Jimi Pemberton. He was like a kid magnet. All of us kids, as soon as we saw him, we were running to him to give him the worlds biggest hug. He was a kid at heart and he grew up right along with us. To us kids, it was like losing one of our best friends. When one of us kids would fight with the other, he was there to fix it and remind us of why we were friends, and that it would never change. He never let us down. Not even now. Sometimes I think that when their is a drift between us kids or when there is a tiff, I think he is still here reminding us of why we are friends and that nothing in this world could change that. "I am watching over you from the stars, Don't be scared, I know exactly where you are, Cause there is a piece of me and its burning in your heart, Even death could never tear us apart." 

We lost Trent Price a year after Jimi. To know that we had lost another scared me. I thought we were cursed or God hated us. I didn't know Trent as well as the others had, I was well aware when he was around though. Trent jus has one of those laughs that you could never forget. Its like Paul with the memory...you think you can forget a person's voice...Trent was someone's voice you couldn't forget. His laugh grew on everyone. I swear I heard him laugh clear across the lake on more than one occasion. That wasn't the only thing you couldn't forget about Trent. He knew how to throw a party and he suited it for both kids and adults. My greatest memory of him was when he tracked down 

the Ice Cream man on his 3 wheeler and asked the 

ice cream man to follow him he brought that ice cream truck right down to the lake. All of us kids were so excited when he said "Pick anything you want, but just one thing". He didn't get a thanks, he got hugs. He even brought horses down to the lake!-------------------------------------------> That was so awesome! "Live for today, tomorrow's not promised."

That was my entire world that place with those people. It means nothing if those people can't be there with me. I wouldn't be the person I am today if i hadn't met any of those people. I try to imagine what my life would be like without them. It wouldn't be hard to guess that if i hadn't met them I wouldn't have met Jaremy. I'd probably be sportin' two kids and not knowing who the father was, and doing god knows what kid of drugs and probably not even have graduated. I would've left home and lived with friends. People say well your mom and dad wouldn't have allowed it...but who knows in that life I probably wouldn't have cared what they said. 

It makes me furious when people say that I wasn't brought up in the right environment. Too much drinking, smoking and too much parties, as they say. If you had been there through all of it you would have seen that I was having the time of my life I wasn't off getting into trouble. I can tell you being 22, I have drank yes, but I have never gotten drunk off my ass. I didn't smoke weed until I was 19, and I didn't make it a habit and continue to smoke it either. Forget about changing my ways when it comes to Parties. That's one of the few things I picked up through life. It makes me who I am. It's my way of celebrating life like Paul always had, and being a kid at heart like Jimi was, and having the biggest heart and open arms like Trent did. You will never take that away from me. 

Those people made me proud of who I am today. They helped me see life as it should be. "Life is my party...and so far it's awesome!" If there were a Machine where our memories could be put on display, I'd play my whole life with those people just to help you understand why I love them so much. Why I cherish my memories and that "environment". I think you'd fall in love with each and every memory and wish it were your own. Maybe the bad light that's be spread upon me by some people would change as well. Its not that I care what you think anyways, because I like my life, those people, and that place where I grew up. You can't change that. No one can. But for anyone who doesn't want to change that about me...then you already know I love you.